Shira-Emunah Amsalem, the sister of the late Avichay Amsalem's Beef-Stuffed Cauliflower Recipe

“A Place at the Table” is a commemorative project that documents the favorite dishes of those lost on October 7 with the help of their families.  

Even though Shira-Emunah Amsalem was older than her late brother Avichay Amsalem, she always thought of him as her teacher, she says. She looked up to Avichay who often managed to convince her to try things she was afraid of. 

Once, when he was in the army and couldn’t leave the base, he asked her to go to Jerusalem to console the family of a friend she didn’t know who had died in the 2014 Gaza war. Another time, Shira-Emunah found herself making a three-tiered birthday cake for a child in a children’s home in Pardes Hanna where her brother volunteered as a tutor.

Even now, in the kitchen of their parents’ house, as she carefully stuffs cauliflower florets with seasoned ground beef, she admits that this is the first time she has prepared the dish. “Usually, my mother handles the cooking at home, but this is for Avichay, and I’d always prepare things for him that were way beyond my comfort zone,” she says. 

As someone who grew up in a religious home, Shira-Emunah explains her family only eats cauliflower for two weeks of the year — before bugs get to it, which make it not kosher. During this time, her mother, who is a caterer, would prepare everything she could with the winter vegetable: cauliflower salad, roasted cauliflower, fried cauliflower, and the highlight, — this beef-stuffed cauliflower in a turmeric sauce. It was a favorite of Avichay, who looked forward to the dish all year.   

Born in 1993 to Ruth and Gabriel Amsalem, Avichay had two sisters, Shira-Emunah and Liraz. Shira-Emunah affectionately called him “my little brother and my big teacher,” because even though she was five years older than him and always felt protective of him, she eventually realized he was the one who opened her eyes to the world. Thanks to him, she also began volunteering.

From the moment he arrived, he brought a sense of magic into their home. “I was a very restrained and closed-off girl, and he was a stormy wind,” she reflects, describing a boy who radiated joy and warmth. He would set off on adventures to the Sea of Galilee with just 100 NIS (about $27) in his pocket and a change of underwear tucked away in his guitar case.

“When I help someone who is struggling, it doesn’t feel difficult for me, and when I help someone in pain, it doesn’t hurt me,” was his response to his friends concerned about his selflessness during army hikes when he would help everyone carry their loads until his hands bled and were covered in blisters.This quote captures the essence of Avichay’s life and has now been turned into a sticker in his honor. Even as a teenager, he used what he earned waiting tables to buy textbooks for a struggling student who he tutored. 

After he married and became a father to two daughters, Avichay and his wife also served as honorary parents to 12 girls who had been removed from their homes to the Talpiot Children’s Village in Hadera. The girls say he was a father to them in every sense of the word — picking them up when they came home late, discussing healthy relationships, helping them with homework, and providing support whenever needed.

On October 7, the couple were hosting friends for the holiday. Before heading out for his reserve duty, Avichay bid farewell to their guests and his pregnant wife, explaining to his two young daughters that he needed to leave to protect the people of Israel and the land, all while promising that he would return to them soon.

On the morning of October 9, Avichay’s unit received a message from a combat helicopter about an escaping terrorist. They began searching the Sderot area, successfully eliminating the threat, and continued their search. In a wheat field adjacent to Sderot train station, another squad of terrorists, hiding in a dugout, opened fire on them. Despite their attempts to return fire, Anichay’s unit was unable to because of difficult terrain. Avichay was killed alongside Captain Yuval Halivni and Major Eitan Menachem Neeman. Shira-Emunah says that the family’s only solace is that he died instantly.  

“It was always important for Avichay to make the most of all of his abilities, to test what he was good at, and to learn new things to make the world better,” she says, dipping the cauliflower florets in egg and breadcrumbs before placing them in the hot oil. He balanced his love for studying Torah with frequent reserve service, basketball games, a job at high tech defense company Elbit, work at the Talpiot Children’s Village, and pursuing electrical engineering studies. He could play the guitar and drums, draw, and was sensitive to others. 

Three months after Avichay’s death, his third daughter, Shachari, was born.

Did you prepare the dish? Share a photo of it and tag it #A_Place_at_the_Table  to honor the memory of the late Avichay Amsalem.